Mistakes First Outline
Jun. 19th, 2025 08:19 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
jabberishAround chapter... 5, apparently, I realized that a single chaos notes document wasn't ideal for keeping track of where the story was going and what scene made the most sense to happen next. So, I started a doc to 1) list out the overall sequence of the story 2) sort the chaos notes along where they should go. The full doc is 25,177 words long, and includes a 'summary' at the top, and then that summary filled in with the scribbled scenes and notes that might fit in each section.
I re-outlined every few chapters as I came up with details and did or didn't use particular scenes, and going back I'm surprised how much the formatting changes over time.
Makes it back, prowl getting care, attacked by blaster, maaaybe gets shoved off to ratchet? Switch to prowl asking blaster, ironhide threatening him into cooperation, ratchet treating him?
More terror and mistrust between getting captured and getting clocked? And then clocked for a while, still not trusted, slowly comes around on individuals between chaos and actively testing whether they’re evil. Get a probationary bot identity -- in part because P is convinced he’ll defect eventually, in part because they’re in the middle of a military operation and they can’t keep him prisoner successfully -- with technically a neutral status but blaster or someone outs him as a con and he lies as convenient. Between interactions with some neutrals, and more intense conversations with new friends, comes around on the overall cause, just in time to intervene before disaster befalls everyone. He saves the day and is prepared to give his life for it, and the bots take a bit of a risk and rescue him too. One of us.
I really like the idea that j is really good at lying with tone and body langauge and it’s just useless on p because p is really bad at interpreting tone and body language.
200504 outline:
Secure him.
Too well trained to get distracted. ((can you move with that. No. what do you need. Just clamp it secure until you have a bay with transfusions (eh ih would know))) Who is this prowl. I’m lero, infantry -- ricochet, comms 4ths class, relentless liar. How do we get him back. I can drive along. How am i gonna get out with so many -- you or hound could carry him. I recommend you. Do nt let him drive.
Ratch shows up. Oh dead end. He’d, well, Meister’d stolen a lot of supplies from him. Maybe not a connection he wanted to make.
Listens in to debrief beginning?
Medic -- I’m stable, checking to make sure everything is properly disabled. Oh right, he has no way of knowing.
Drive back, finding a calm. Terror, still. (makes a shell?)
Shows up, full hasty welcome, we need some extra equipment to fix this. And his wing.
Blaster recognizes, gets called off, (he’s a con. Yes, we know! He’s a prisoner. But -- (that chills him, but they don’t take prisoners here and he knew that but only in that he didn’t know they did and if they don’t that’s bad, that’s bad)
Ricochet, comms officer 4th class, worst fragging luck.
Swtch; Ironhide intimidates, Prowl tells blaster to ask about jazz. Ratchet intakes, and shoos him out, because prowl is crashing.
Switch; Ih shows up, jazz has been paranoid about fuel. Wants to talk to prowl, scared of everyone else. Knows prowl. He’s down. What. busts out, prepares to wipe, saves prowl, gets stopped by red and ratch.
Switch; P Offers defection with a scan. Refuses. Ready to be executed. Identifies him(? Maybe nudge another set of interactions in here?? Bring the attempted hacking in before, and the garrus 3 thing). He’s coy about it.
Switch; Breaks out, snags a visor, makes a friend, causes a panic?
Switch?; Runs into op? Panics and tries to actually get out. Consider blackmailing him, reacts poorly. Given a strange status, and odd security. You can’t leave. We’ll put it at that for now. Not winnin any favors. (give me time. I hope to wear you down on my personality. (only if he says that... while he’s all broken out on the visor! P flips it on him!)
Worried that ratchet will mutilate him.
Bots move to cap the bridge in the sector, everone is mobilzed, everything is hectic.
Or maybe something happens. The operation needs to go. You’re moving on the spacebridge here. They are. And there’s a big chaotic operation.
Rescues bee.
Talks to the natives.
Checks in with the ship. Uses meister id and reveals some organic resources. Sick to himself, scared they’re going to destroy it. We will not. Talks to op about meister. Talks to prowl about the war.
The spacebridge capture is almost secure, and it’s a trap, and con high command shows and going to win. Revives meister to get info, talks to soundwave. Act of sabotage and rescue.
We should trust you now? Nah, prolly not! Not a great idea to think people are good and trustworthy and competent. But sometimes you can’t help but hope it, and work with the mistakes you made, right?
1 Secure him.
Too well trained to get distracted. ((can you move with that. No. what do you need. Just clamp it secure until you have a bay with transfusions (eh ih would know))) Who is this prowl. I’m lero, infantry -- ricochet, comms 4ths class, relentless liar. How do we get him back. I can drive along. How am i gonna get out with so many -- you or hound could carry him. I recommend you. Do nt let him drive.
who's this? hello, hi. desgination marshall, infantry, really wishing I hadn't let Ricochet talk me into trading shifts, chased the bot when they said chase the bot and really wishing I had -- no -- ugh, so I traded shifts with Ricochet -- this is Ricochet. He is an adequate mnemoscraper, a surprisingly competent fugitive guide, and a relentless liar.
This is bad this is bad. up. lets them cuff him, he's quiet, in full meister drone impression. nothing here, don't worry about me. he isn't scared. he isn't going to react. there's nothing to gain. he is going to die but that's okay. he isn't scared.
ask some questions. slag. I can't, I'm not, don't hack me. hypocritical much. Yes.
jazz surrenders, and is disarmed and pinned. everyone is a bit distracted by prowl's life threatening wound and he watches them treat it, feels like he's at a distance, waiting to die. someone is going to make a decision, soon, and he's going to die here or be trussed up to die later. ironhide? maybe just cliffjumper in an impulse. prowl himself? the one holding him is too professional to be too distracted by the injury.
Surrenders, surrounded, twitches and everyone jumps. Waits to live or die, they see to prowl and a medic drives into the area with another bot (uhhhh sides??? trailbreaker?) who attends to his patch. He tries to lie about who he is and prowl cuts him off. He offers to drive back and prowl vetos. Can you fix my comms? Sure thing, that or being alive? Fine and they haul back.
Stabbing me was unnecessary. You were unlikely to be harmed so long as you behaved in a non threatening way.What's unlikely mean here?21% prowl admitted.Where'd that go when I pulled the knife?It's not that simple but prowl jams a variant model into his system before it can stall out. 18%It's a fair point.Aw sorry mech. Really felt like more than a 3% better idea. Chalk it to personal knowledge?Considers. Without knowing iron s trigger discipline and Cliff's aimn precision, capture norms... It's a much better idea. A big chunk of the motor relay along his left leg just isn't cooperating.
Jazz is taken — they try to knock him out easily and it hurts but he’ll like wait, I gotta, I gotta disable my — flicks off, so that he can actually get zapped out
Mods are shitty and hacked together
Trying to put him under, can’t. I know, I know. Ops or frontliner. Just
Programs chew through it most of the way to base?
The dead end medic! Meister had known of him back in the day. He'd... Stolen quite a lot of medical supplies from that clinic. Debated whether Meister recognized him. Ego play. He'd keep it in reserve. Meister didn't recognize him but found him familiar and might
I’m stable, he tells the medic without looking up. He should look up, look for cues, handholds, an edge, but honestly, if he’s about to die he’d like to indulge in a little self-pity, just for a moment.
We’ll just let me be the judge of that, yeah?
Why aint I dead? We need you to answer some questions.
Put together a reasonable shell. It wasn’t safe to hard partition everything he’d need to know at some point.
He was already identified as Ricochet, mnemoscraper, which was unfortunate. Cut the older slag, swapped it for MTO memories — Alley-oop of the Siege of Tyger Pax, Tyger to friends — cut as much as he could hide. Tyger was one of the smallest memory profiles he had, kid had lived for under a cycle and so long as he didn’t need the identity, he wasn’t even timeline constrained. The Ricochet going under the needles was going to be young, young as he could go without encouraging anyone to carefully check his overall memory size.
Grabbed memories of a doomed ship with his amica on board — Saxo and Ricochet had some, but Meister’s set happened to cleave closest to what he was saying for the Star. Reluctantly he snagged those.
Combed over for plot holes, triple checked to make sure he’d gotten the name consistent. Wouldn’t stand to someone checking for reality, but it should hold for a motive check.
Ironhide. This is Ricochet, comms officer 4th class, sadag. There is a 74% chance I will crash before making it back to debrief -- he has pulled some information on upcoming operation asdaf123, the extent of which must be ascertained. The advance
what the slag are these field patches? are you a medic or a fragging interrogator?twitched before he realized it had been rhetorical. side glance, maybe he hadn't noticed.snarled, back to the patches.
The medic is coming into his space and he flinches. Focus!
I’m stable, he says, straightening and trying to look healthy.
Oh, he doesn’t have context yet. Just loaded in, and the situation is weird, not clear to the doc yet he’s a prisoner.
Prowl’s pretty stable at the end, and it’s a clean clean getaway? Or they draw fire, or hit a mine.
Minefield, minefield! Guides them through at gunpoint, and they catch one anyway, they move around -- it could be.
Ratchet intakes him
Blaster meets them and
Ratch shows up. Oh dead end. He’d, well, Meister’d stolen a lot of supplies from him. Maybe not a connection he wanted to make.
Listens in to debrief beginning?
Medic -- I’m stable, checking to make sure everything is properly disabled. Oh right, he has no way of knowing.
Drive back, finding a calm. Terror, still. (makes a shell?)
I’m stable. He is stable. Who are you? Looks up, the world is spinning and it’s been spinning but it’s not fun anymore and frag if that isn’t a sparkling’s thought he made this call and sometimes a risk doesn’t pan out. This, this is bad -- this is bad but what’s next. ‘M Marshall,
They got the plans for the wandering star. How -- soundwave. Already? How? No. Ricochet. Who's Ricochet? Clicked his plating. The mech who was supposed to be interrogating him. Actually, bad luck, I caught a virus an orn ago and we traded shift -- this is Ricochet. He is a competent mnemoscraper and a relentless liar.
Naw, I'm tryin to say--You are in a hole and you are digging.
why are you so underfueled? rations are generally low.
//
later, with prowl in the room. why are you so underfueled? rations are low. try again. rations are low for clumsy no-names who can't line up a decent camera. considered. when did you align the cameras? three c -- he still had the file, which ahd a creation timestamp. three megacycles ago. one more try. I spend a lot of my rations on bribes.
what for? access, shift swaps, alibis. the usual.
